Cultivating Lasting Positive Thoughts During the Aseret Yemei Teshuvah
As we find ourselves in the midst of the Aseret Yemei Teshuvah, the Ten Days of Repentance, many of us seek to go beyond fleeting moments of inspiration and achieve lasting inner change. One area that often challenges us is the tendency towards negativity, whether it's critical self-talk or negative thoughts about others—whether they are friends, co-workers, or even fellow daveners in shul. Jewish wisdom, particularly the teachings of the Chassidic masters, offers profound insights and practical methods for addressing this.
The first step in combating negative thoughts is self-awareness. Often, we don't even realize when we fall into the habit of thinking critically about others or ourselves. Regular self-reflection, known as hitbonenut, can help catch these thoughts in the moment. Rabbi Levi Yitzchok of Berditchev, famous for his boundless love for his fellow Jews, exemplified the practice of always seeing the good in others—dan l'kaf zechut—and Rabbi Nachman of Breslov emphasized finding the nekudah tovah (the good point) in everyone.
One fascinating Chassidic interpretation of Tehillim (Psalms) 37:10—“A little while longer, and the wicked will be no more; though you look carefully at his place, he will not be there”—suggests that when we shift our focus to identify the good in others, the "wickedness" or negativity we perceive can disappear, both in our eyes and in reality. By changing our perspective, we can influence others positively and elevate the way we see them.
However, translating this spiritual wisdom into lasting change can be challenging. Here are some practical techniques that can help you go beyond temporary inspiration:
1. Set Clear Intentions
During these ten days, set a specific intention to improve in this area. Make it a kabbalah (commitment) to notice when negative thoughts arise and consciously replace them with positive or neutral ones. This heightened focus can help create the momentum for lasting change.
2. Daily Reflection and Journaling
Each day, set aside time to reflect on your progress. Start the day by writing a short intention to see the good in others. At night, review your day and take note of moments where you were successful or where you struggled. This self-accounting (cheshbon hanefesh) creates accountability and helps you track progress.
3. Small, Achievable Goals
Instead of trying to tackle every negative thought at once, set micro-goals. Focus on improving your thoughts in specific situations, like in shul or during interactions with one person. Building success in small steps will create a foundation for larger changes.
4. Mental Reframing
When a negative thought arises, challenge it by asking: “What might I not know about this situation?” Then, actively replace the thought with something positive or neutral about the person. This practice helps to disrupt the automatic critical response and create new mental habits.
5. Visualization and Meditation on the Nekudah Tovah
Make it a practice to sit in quiet meditation and visualize someone you’ve struggled with. Focus on identifying their nekudah tovah, that one good point they possess. By regularly focusing on the good in others, you train yourself to naturally see the positive.
6. Incorporate It Into Your Davening
During tefillah, add a personal prayer asking Hashem to help you see the good in others and yourself. Tying this intention to your daily prayers strengthens the connection between your spiritual growth and your efforts to change.
These steps can help you move from fleeting inspiration to a more lasting transformation, especially during this spiritually powerful time. As the Baal Shem Tov taught, “You are where your thoughts are.” By consistently training yourself to see the good, you will shift the way you think and ultimately the way you live.
If you're interested in exploring these ideas further, you can read the full conversation in the shared link. May these Ten Days of Repentance bring about deep and lasting change for all of us!